I think we may have a tendency to over-value romantic relationships.
As someone who highly values romantic relationships, I feel qualified to say this. I’ve been obsessed, really obsessed, since I was very young. I played out romantic plotlines with Legos, Barbies, Fashion Polly, Playmobile, salt and pepper shakers, water balloons, kitchen utensils, stuffed animals—you name it. I play out romantic situations in my head daily with people I’m hardly interested in, just for the fun of it. I watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette religiously, just because I like to analyze different relationships. I love playing relationship counselor to my friends who are in relationships.
But when I look at my life, I realize that no matter how much mental time I devote to relationships, my physical time is spent on other kinds of relationships very much outside of a romantic context. I have relationships with my siblings and with my mom, with church leaders, with mentors, ith children and young adults that I mentor, with friends both male and female. These relationships have added so much value to my life, despite the fact that I don’t spend time daydreaming about them. And of course, there’s the *small* matter of a relationship with God.
When you really like someone, it’s easy to make all the time in the world for them. Sometimes it’s hard to prioritize relationships with family and friends because they simply aren’t as exciting. I certainly don’t think they’re as fun to think about. But really, they’re just as important.
A lot of romantic fantasies from a girl’s perspective have to do with a guy wanting to do anything for them. We don’t fantasize about being willing to do anything for a guy. So when I spend a lot of mental energy thinking about how nice it would be to have someone devoted to my every whim, I’m really devoting myself to my own selfishness. And we’re not even talking about a real situation here.
Let’s focus on the relationships that are in our lives already, and let’s focus on them in an unselfish way. Adding value to someone else’s life coincidentally adds value to your own. Let’s value losing things. Let’s value sacrificing what we want for what other people want, whether in a romantic context or not.