The Stages of Christian Relationships


“We’re talking.”

“We’re waiting to see where the Lord leads.”

“We’re getting to know each other better.”

“We’re considering furthering our relationship.”

When it comes to Christian dating, the phrases above are famous ones. Most of them are ambiguous, trite, and often are imbedded with double meanings. I find that when these phrases are used, the speaker is almost unsure of what they mean themselves by saying them. Each of the statements attempt to describe a stage of a relationship. It has come to my attention that there many more stages involved in a Christian relationship compared to those relationships that are of a secular nature. If you have dated as a Christian, if you are currently dating as a Christian, or if you will date as a Christian, you have mostly likely been in, are in, or will be in one of the following relationship stages at some given point during your dating career.

1. The “I Mean, I’m Interested in Him” Stage

During this stage, there is usually no substantial relationship involved beyond a friendship. The two of you may be friends, you may have caught him staring at you from across the church pews, or you may just really enjoy talking him even though you don’t get to very often. You are interested in him, but you’re not sure if you would necessarily consider dating him. It’s what most people with a secular view would call a “crush.” This stage can last for over a year, or less than two weeks. But what do you say when your friends ask you if you like him? You say, “I mean, I’m interested…”

2. The “We’re Talking, I Guess…” Stage

This is possibly the most commonly abused stage. This stage represents the period of time during which either you or him have somewhat expressed you feelings toward each other, but there has been little to no talk of the future of the relatioship. Yet, the two of you continue to talk to one another with a vaguely romantic pretense. “Talking” is a slippery slope upon which many have struggled to keep their balance. At this stage, you are aware of your mutual feelings, but you are both usually too immature or scared to be the one to open up a channel of communication regarding a future relationship. But what do you say when your friends ask you if you and him are in a relationship?” You say, “I mean, we’re talking… I guess.”

3. The “We’re Seeking God’s Will For Us” Stage

This stage is essentially a more intense version of the “talking” stage. In many cases, this stage can be combined with the: “He’s going to ask my dad soon” stage. Both you and him usually have plans to date in the future, but you both feel that you should wait before making anything official, regardless of the fact that the only thing about your relationship that isn’t official is the fact that you don’t feel like calling yourselves official just yet. You post pictures together on social media, talk on the phone, and are associated together in all your friends’ minds, even though you’re not officially dating.

4. The “Dating” Stage

Goodness gracious it’s about time.


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