Dealing With Unwelcome Unrequited Love


I’m not just Époninetalking about any unrequited love here. I’m talking about that guy you have a crush on, and it’s a really stupid crush, for any number of reasons. He’s an idiot. He’s immature. He’s mean. He’s stuck-up. He’s lazy. He’s not a strong Christian, or maybe he’s not a Christian at all. There’s no future there, and you know this. We’re not even talking Jacob and Bella. This is more like Romeo and Juliet, except Juliet isn’t a total idiot and Romeo doesn’t love her back. There isn’t a happily ever after, and you knew it as soon as those butterflies started fluttering.

Sometimes, there’s no reason why it happens. Blame it on the hormones, the atmosphere, whatever. Most often, it’s just plain proximity. He’s a boy, you’re a girl, and that’s it. No point in mulling over causes. The feelings are just there. They’re painful, and they’re pointless. So what do you do about them?

Absolutely nothing.

Trust me, attempting to repress the butterflies makes the butterflies flutter faster. It’s simple psychology. The more you try not to think about something the more you think about it. The feelings have to run their course, but the course will end. Just know that it may take a while (mine lasted two years). If possible, limit contact with him as much as possible, so you don’t end up saying or doing something you might regret. Feelings may be there, but you don’t have to act on them. Really, don’t act on them. The modern culture, along with many past cultures, is very, very fond of feelings. It doesn’t matter whether you are from different countries, have different goals, or worship different gods, as long as you love each other. Let me break it to you. We’re to love everyone, even our enemies, but we’re not supposed to marry all of them. This isn’t Utah. Unless you’re reading this and you happen to live in Utah.

The ultimate goal of romantic love as we know it is marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands. Can you see yourself marrying this guy? Do you respect him? Can you see yourself submitting to him as the church submits to Christ? Of course you don’t. That’s why your love is pointless in the first place. So bite the bullet and deal with it.


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